I'm not sure why it makes me uncomfortable, but it does. I usually don't tell people that my family is Shi'a. When you meet me you might think, oh, typical desi girl that's wearing hijab. For the most part I am a typical desi girl. Except my parents and extended family are staunch Shi'as.

So for the past 9 years, I've argued, debated and in more recent years tempered our differences by remembering they are my parents and family. I give precendence to the fact that they are my parents. I ignore things that I can. I bite my tounge more than I would like to. I treat them better now than when I first had my differences with them. i don't say this as self-praise, if anything it is /was implementing the most common emotion and action of a child...to please their parents and to want love from them. To be cared for by them, to be able to hug your mom and act normal around your dad. This would not be possible if I continued to talk about religion. I conducted a balancing act between keeping them happy and pleased with me, without overlooking the major points of disparagement between us. I didn't want to anger God while making them happy, so I didn't quite give in to everything. I hoped we had gotten to a point of mutual co-existance. Since I was obviously not influencing them to convert, they were now "ok" with me not being Shi'a. However, that was not quite the case.

In fact, I am still 15 years old standing in front of my parents, hoping they'll for once HEAR and LISTEN that I'm not being brainwashed. I'm not being spiteful, or ungrateful, or hasty or ruining my life. Sobs are choked in my throat for never being given a fair chance, my hands are quivering from holding in the anger that I can not show, my jaw is clenched holding back the angry words that don't have much to do with religion anymore, but are there because I don't feel like a human being anymore.

I hate loving them because it can shred my principles to pieces and I have to continuously fight that.

For pictures click here

Almost as an opening ceremony of going back to school, we all shopped for new crayons, pencils, books, backpacks and clothes. Laying them out, putting them together the night before the first day of school. Even though we were a messy and unorganized the rest of the year, the first day was special.

How many of us were filled with fear, that our parents wouldn't be able to afford sending us to school that month or year, that we would be wearing old clothes, or have no new supplies? How many of us went hungry because although we were sent to school, there was no lunch money?
We probably haven't thought of these things because they are so common, so inexpensive and so prevalent.

There are those who do worry about that...even if a month's tuition is only $10, even if a new box of crayons is only $1. Although inexpensive to us, with a few children in the family and incomes being equally low, many families struggle to send their children to school.

There is a small school in the city of Thatta, Pakistan. It was built about 6 years ago by my uncle to help increase education and literacy in the impoverished area. Children from ages 3-15 attend the school where basic subjects like Math, Science, English, Sindhi, and Islamic Studies are taught. The teachers are given training sessions a couple times a year. There is a great deal of hard work and effort being made to make this school a nurturing and rich learning environment for these students.


I will be going there soon and I would love to help those families who are struggling. Please donate and be a part of this change! There are no international organizations, benefactors or celebrities promoting the education of these children. There are struggling parents and eager children who would be filled with gratitude knowing that if even for one month, they would be able to breathe a little easier.

InshaAllah the plan is to divide the funds into two parts: tuition scholarships and a resource fund. The scholarships will be distributed to the families with the most need and the students who have high achievement. The resource fund will go to buying books on practical education methods and techniques and putting together a two day workshop for the teachers. Please check out my album for more photos of the school and kids

Please let me know if you are interested.This is an opportunity where even the smallest donation can make an enormous effect. Donations can be sent through Paypal ( zremmas @ gmail . com ) or mailed in. If neither of those is convenient please message me and we can arrange something. The deadline to donate is November 22nd, 2008
If you have ideas, suggestions, or encouragement please post that here as well. These are just as important as monetary donations.

I've always had this desire to record and document everything in my life...mundane or exciting. I'm not sure why... maybe hoping I can flip through the pages one day and see what value my life has had. But this is me in early 20's. Why did I want to do that when I was 10. I can remember narrating everything as it happened, like a novel, as opposed to just watching and letting it happen. Imagining that I would go and write it all down...I did write down some of it.

Finding the Perfect man...

Between Mark Wahlberg, Shahrukh Khan, Denzel Washington and Mr. Darcy, the idea of an ideal man is embodied in every aspect of culture and society. The perfect physique, smile, hair, intellect, wit, wit, wit, humor, manners, romance, bookworminess and athleticism, as if that in itself isn't difficult enough...throw in a whole new set of standards of God-consciousness and the examples of the Prophet(saw) and the Sahaba and you have a whole new, more complicated, unrealistic and impossible picture in mind about not just the ideal man, but what is a MAN.

Who came up with this stupid idea that we are supposed to get the perfect man or "the right one" and we're ALL going to get him, right? Where is this unlimited supply of perfect men coming from? I'd be interested to see just one.
It's very overwhelming because if he is not all of these things then I can't be happy! Right? right?!

This train of thought has a list of flaws. Firstly, questioning the whole notion of a person being responsible for your happiness is calming: It's not all up to him. Your happiness is in your hands, with your outlook, reactions, and personality; relying on an everlasting support and connection with Allah is also really important. I used to think that getting married would solve all my problems and it would magically transform my life into one of blissful love, romance, support, companionship and of course, happiness. Any black holes and empty spaces of emotion and eman would be filled by this one perfect man. I didn't allow myself to be happy because I was waiting for this savior. I hope girls don't believe this because its such a stifling state of being.

I am a feminist in that I want girls to be empowered by themselves, their faith, through being productive and cherishing the relationships they have with their family and friends; not waste time hoping, seeking and pursuing "happiness" in the form of a man.

So now that I know he's not going to be responsible for my happiness, he may be a source of it. Secondly, we've interacted with other human beings, we notice even if they are nice, kind, witty, funny...sometimes they are angry, frustrated, stupid or just strange. If all the REAL people around us falter then we're being delusional thinking this one man is going to be perfect. Especially when in a marriage you are going through some of the most rigorous challenges that you will probably never have to deal with with others.

Thirdly, I wonder how many of us have thought this completely through...we don't actually want someone who is perfect. For one, we would go nuts because we aren't perfect. We would either hold him under a constant microscope looking for flaws or question his perfection as hypocrisy or being fake. It may be annoying and also highlight all our own shortcomings resulting in low self-esteem. Have you ever been around an overachiever? How long can you really be around them? live with the 24/7?

So, once I can be realistic about what married life is not (a bollywood, lollywood or hollywood movie), I can have a better idea of what it will be by looking at the real life examples around me.
Although...there are bound to be some surprises.

Hypocrisy

its such a recurring theme in my thoughts. If I see so much hypocrisy, it makes sense to look at myself from a distance to check if its rubbed off on me. So often, we beleive that we are right and they are wrong... in our blind arrogance we don't give the other person a chance. It takes a moment of humilty and an open mind of insight to realize that maybe we are wrong, and even if we're not at that particular moment, we can be... because we are falliable. And we can be so quick to judge, what happened to the 70 excuses we allow our brother/sister in Islam? What happened to thinking the best of people, not the worst? I don't think that exists in practice anymore. How about allowing them the one excuse that, we've all made mistakes and done things we regret..because we're human, and we learn through our mistakes. If anyone has ever been merciful to us, don't you think someone else is also worthy of it? I guess its the "pay it forward" concept. Also, Allah is merciful to those who are merciful to others.

Think about why you pick the battles that you do. Do you even pick them? Is there a method to the madness or must you always be right? So if you are picking them... why those in particular? do they better your relationship with someone, with Allah(swt), does it set a wrong, right? or is it for egotistical reasons? Self-reflection is the key to seeking out your own faults and working towards correcting them. Yea, it may sound a bit new-agey but in all seriousness, we MUST be the ones to look inside and be humble enough to admit there is something wrong or something needs improvement. You can have all the people in the world tell you that you ought to change, but it won't make a salt grain's worth of a difference if you can't see it too...

All about Islam class

August 22, 2004 from muttaqoon.blogdrive.com

Asalam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

I don't write about personal experiences in this blog, but there is an exception to every rule. I know that Allah(swt) is always aware of my situation, and He knows when I REALLY am having a difficult time. Alhamdulillah, just when I seem to be down to my hands & knees looking for a way out the rut, He gives me something that makes me see the perfection and wisdom of Islam with such clarity as I had never seen before.

Today for the first time in 6 years, I set out towards a masjid that had classes for sisters with the goal of meeting sisters. When you live in an isolated area without Muslims you can practice Islam, but there is always an empty feeling because you're doing it by yourself. You don't have anyone to say salaams to, or hear "walaykom asalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu" back. Most people may take that for granted, but when I call my butcher's wife to ask her if the goat meat is in, and she says "Salaam Alaykom Warahmatullah" in that distinct accent my heart lights up. Allahu alam, I don't necessarily understand the feeling, but its a unity, a togetherness and a better sense of self that you get from other muslims. (I get sidetracked...sorry)

Anyhow, so the reason why I wasn't planning on learning much is because the class is really basics... like salaah and how to make wu'du and things like that. I wanted to meet sisters who wanted to learn as much about Islam as I did. Someone who loved it as much and someone who got excited when talking about it. Someone who would boost my eman and help be a reminder to me about the beauty of Islam. Someone who can relate to living in the "dirty south" as a practicing muslimah. As it says in the Quran:

"The believers, men and women, are Awliya' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma'roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform As-Salaat (Iqaamat-as-Salaat, establish prayer for the rememberance of Allaah) and give the Zakaat (charity), and obey Allaah and His Messenger. Allaah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise." (At-Tawbah 9:71)

In the true essence of the word, I needed Awliya'. Tangible Awliya at that. I had heard these horror stories about "corrupt" sisters in muslim communities. Sister's who were really harsh with new muslims, or even muslims who were just beginning to practice, or sister's who were really not practicing and arrogant. So, on the two hour drive over to the masjid I was a tad nervous. Not so much about the sisters, but if they would like me and if we would see eye to eye (I to I).

When I got in there and began to talk to the sisters it was incredible the amount of support and love and sisterhood that I felt. I never had that before. You don't really know how much you're missing out on until you finally see it for yourself. It's like someone telling you a Red Velvet Cake with Cream Cheese frosting is good, and sure it sounds good and you want it... but once you try it- it exceeds all your expectations. They shared their stories of reversion, or attempting to revert, of dealing with ignorant people, and even how they dealt with bouts of low eman. It made me see the beauty of Islam in way I hadn't before. How seamlessly it fit into these womens' lives just as it did in mine. How its made each of their lives better in their own way, and of course by making them people who are more concious of their surroundings, of their Lord, of their Purpose. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. I am so glad that I went to that class it exceeded all my expectations. I didn't plan on learning much, but today I learned something that can't be learned from books. When you see Islam being practiced with sincerity, and the love of Allah in the hearts of people, its an automatic catalyst for your own eman. The class is going to be lead by the Imam of the masjid who is mashaAllah really good. I'm excited not only to learn more now, but also to be a more helpful and active part in the community. I think the point of this post is that if you know something is good for you, but you havent done it yet... take the iniative and do it. InshaAllah it will beneficial for you and you dont know how much longer you have left, so next week/month/year may be too late. And if you're running low on eman, pray to Allah(swt), He hears and sees you and He knows what is in your heart. Have faith and patience and InshaAllah He will make a way for you which you hadn't even thought of.

Asalam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

To Faith and Abbay

Faith, or rather intensity of faith... fluctuates. It reminds me of my cat in its subtle approach. You can get lost trying to find it. Look under the beds, the china cabinet, in the closet & when you're at your wits end, you look in the bathtub. Hm... so you resume your daily activity ... cuz you've got other things to do. You try to forget, hope she'll come back, hope she knows where to find you.

At the end of a long day, she emerges in your doorway. Strides in casually as though she had been waiting for you all along. The beautiful colors of her coat contrast off each other and the confindence in her stride remind you of how slickness is a built-in characteristic of a cat. She stops by the bed and measures the distance, leaps onto it as easily as she would take a step forward. Cuddles up close to your body and purrs. You feel her warmth, her breathing and the quick beating of her heart. And you're not upset that it took her so long to get there, or that she didn't come when you called, or hid from you so cleverly while you searched endlessly for her... you're just glad that now she's there. Now you can be in her company ...

When you feel so far away from God, when you begin to wonder what happened to that kid that bubbled with faith and love... the kid that was here just moments ago... and what happened to His presence and why don't you feel it anymore... you search endlessly and at your wits end, look for Him, for your faith, for your salvation in the oddest of places. You wonder how to look, if you should, if it'll come back. You pray that it does because now you're a shell of a person. Faith was the only thing that made you whole, belief in Him and salvation was the only thing that made this life seem worthwhile. As hard as it may have gotten here, you knew something lied beyond this life of materialism . And if you don't have that, if you don't know that... then your spirit is broken, if you can't beleive there is something better waiting for you somewhere... then... well, then your heart, and soul are dead.

When you want it back bad enough though... and you pray, He listens. And in the subtlest way, at the end of a long day... it might be the smile of baby, or a verse, or a glance at the moon, watching the snow fall that brings her(faith) back. Or you realize that missing your faith to where you beg for it back... that is faith... and she (faith) comes strolling back in as though she had been waiting for you all along and you're just glad that now she's there.

(sept. 04)

In my skin...

It's taken me a long time to finally be comfortable in my skin. It's taken a long time to feel confident, to feel content and happy, despite sticking out like a sore thumb. It took a while to not look at "pretty" girls and feel jealous, wishing I could be thought of as "pretty" again.

I remember very clearly, I was walking out of one of my classes(in high school), and a boy walked out from a classroom near-by. We were headed down the stairwell, but it was pretty crowded. He met up with another girl, and they both stood behind me as we inched closer to the stairs. He said to her, in a hushed whisper(which made it worse), " She's the ugliest girl in school."
That very literally shattered my self-esteem and self-worth. Especially because I had just started wearing hijab, although my looks didn't matter much to me, the comment hit me hard. It's been a long time since then.

I hold my head higher now, I make it a point to not divert eye contact from women who are walking towards me. I am not intimidated. I am not ashamed. If you think I'm ugly, that's quite alright. My standards of beauty, and criteria for beauty are much different than what they were as a 14 year old in high school. Heba (from Jack and Bobby) said it well that this is me, saying yes to Allah, and to my faith, and saying NO, to the oppression and degredation, the exploitation of a woman for her body; that her sexuality should be flaunted and that should be the judgement of her value and self-worth.

I am worth more... more than what L'oReal can ever offer.

So like I said, I'm more confident now with myself and my faith (although I have so much to work on). I am happier now with the decisions I have made than I was while making them, because although there was faith in the righteousness of my decision, I now have "real world" experience in the benefits it reaps. Those who looked down on me before still may do so, but like Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

(march 06)

Ode to Beloved Papa

As my mother bore the responsibility of carrying me within her womb for nine months, and aiding in my sustenance through her body, so has my father cherished and continuously maintained his responsibility of my care from the moment of my birth till now. Whether it was physical, emotional or spiritual needs he has been my rock to lean on, and a true supporter and maintainer in every sense of the word.

Although sometimes it is his solidarity which has pressed me at times and tried my patience or even my sanity, I remind myself that the jewels put through the most extensive polishing are the most beautiful. Whether we agree on the path I take throughout my life or not, it is obvious from his voice, his demeanour, his gentle manner, and sometimes his aggressive manner that it is out of sincere love and concern for my well-being... in the dunya and akhira. My father is away right now, and I feel his absence more than I ever have before.

You will never appreciate the silent sacrifices your fathers make for you until you feel the pang of sacrifice yourself. But as we may feel some doubt or hurt in making the sacrifice for someone else...our hearts may question it, our nafs may try to pull us away from it, know that your fathers do not think twice about it. The smile upon the face of their daughter, or to see her successful means more to him than any worldly pleasure of his own.

Conversely, the affections and praise, the happiness of my father is second only to the hapiness of my Lord. I have been blessed incredibly with a father who not only loves me naturally because I am his daughter, but because he has understood my emotions, personality and temperment. He takes all of these into consideration and never assumes that I am like other girls my age. My father doesn't spoil me, and Alhamdulillah I see his wisdom in not doing so and am a better muslimah for it: it has taught me patience and helped stifled my nafs' excessive urges for possessions in the dunya.

My father used to be a professor of biology and loves to talk about it which works out quite well, because I am a biology buff as well. We also like to sit down during dinner and just discuss what is going on in our lives and things that are important to us. Alhamdulillah I am glad that the relationship with my father is this way, because I can have other friends, but only he can be my father.

"Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection - and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise)." (Reported by Muslim)

I hope that as he has helped me and pushed me towards the straight path and attaining jannah, that I can be a path to jannah for him as well.
(april 05)

Nothing would feel the way this does...

A week ago, I had to get the oil changed. As I was checking out, the man at the register asked me," Have you ever read the Bible? Or thought about becoming a Christian?" Usually this is towards the middle of a conversation, but this time it begun with it. I told him, " I have and it just didn't make sense to me." I explained a bit further. He said he understood, but he could never worship idols the way I did. Obviously he had a warped understanding of what Islam is. I clarified.. we worship Allah, Al ilah, The Diety... the Creator and Sustainer of the Heavens and the Earth, and all that is in it. The All Merciful, The All Seeing, The All Hearing, the Creator of Jesus, the only Diety worthy of worship.

After he asked a few more questions. and I answered, he asked that I should meet his wife and stay in touch. I hope I do get to meet her.

During English class, we were talking about the Rennaisance. The teacher was explaining that when King Henry viii decided to seperate from the catholic church (mostly so he could get a divorce without the pope's approval), calling the new church, "The Church of England", and created protestantism. She explained that although they kept alot of catholic rituals, they didn't have saints, or include Mary(ra) in their churchs. They were "purifying the religion, so it was just you, God and Jesus." Right, you God and Jesus. I spoke up... that it is blasphemous even according to Christ's teachings. Christ told the people to worship God, he himself called out to God, Allah(swt) niether begets, nor is he begotten. Why would you call out to Christ instead of calling out to the God of Christ. She saw my point...she moved on.

Reflecting on these experiences, it seems like maybe they understand the concept... but for some reason aren't responsive to the call. It's almost alien and foreign to them. Anything other than Tawheed , worshipping only and only Allah(swt)... relying on Him for my needs, believing that only He has the power to grant me something or deny me it, yielding that if only He was pleased with me and everyone in the world were not that I would be okay- anything other than that... it would eat at my conscience and my soul. I could not pray to Jesus(ra) to save me, or Mary(ra) to redeem me, or Ali(ra) to help me, or Muhammad(pbuh) to grant me what I desired. My soul would not accept it and my heart would condemn me. Like a foreign object found in the body, it would be rejected and my soul would pound the walls of such a hypocritical shell. When I know that none can save me if Allah has forsaken me, and none can forsake me when my Lord has saved me... then there is no way that even the tip of my finger would accept pleading to anyone other than Him and Him alone.

It seems like such a simple concept. It's amazing how its been corrupted... I don't understand because the awesomeness of Allah (swt)'s power and ability is apparent in everything around us and everything inside us. and we don't even see all of it. Why must people set up limitations for Him?

Verily, He guides whom He wills. May He guide us, and keep our footing firmly on the straight path to lead us to Jannah, and His pleasure, ameen.

(april 05)

Feigning Content

Contentment with little, and gratitude for what you have are virtues. Despite realizing their importance, and not being very worldy, in my heart these virtues always seemed a bit out of reach. I'd feign content, so that perhaps I wouldn't be counted amongst the ungrateful ones. I was content that I was alone surrounded by people who didn't understand, and didn't care to understand. I was content in the incredible amount of effort it took to make myself get up(no, not get up for fajr =P), and get through the day- without completely breaking down. I began to realize, this act I was putting on... might fool others. They'd think I was passive, patient, and could adapt well to change and bear the pressures of being a sore thumb.

But it was just an act. How long would it go on? Even if it went on forever, I was never at peace with myself. "Oh woes me!!" ( I didn't say it, but I sure thought it)... "Oh pooooor me!!! Having to put up with all of this wretchedness, this terrible lonliness." Pretty pathetic, huh? I would pray to Allah(swt) to get me out of this situation...every night with tears brimming my eyes and a choked sob in my heart. "Oh woesssss me!! Allah(swt) make my situation better!!" (I poke fun of myself a bit, but I was really in pain, its only in hindsight that I realize what was going on.)

Alhamdulillah, He(swt) did. I didn't get to run away to Yemen/Egypt to be an alimah. I didn't make a clique of muslimahs. I didn't get married to a brother(that's the best thing since sliced bread), and get a muslim community.

Nope, but my situation got better,Alhamdulillah. I still live in the same area, with basically the same people, with a pretty non-existant muslim community. So how has my situation become better?

I began to let go. I realized if there is a problem that I cannot change, then I must at least change my attitude about the problem. If for no other reason than to stand to live my life(however long or short) and not desperately seek refuge from it (my own life!).

I really had to magnify everything that was beautiful to me, even here, in nowhere, America...and readjust the focus on things which I disliked. It might sound a bit "tree-hugger"-ish, but I would walk outside and simply breathe in the fresh air, and take in the smell of wet soil after a rainy day... feel the sun on my face. Bring everything back to the basics things in life, so that I could count my blessings and not that which I have been denied. There is so much wisdom in looking at the hardships of others. It makes you realize your own blessings. So what if I'm not surrounded by practicing sisters, Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. That is definately a great thing to have, but for those of us who don't... you learn to live with it... There are people who do not have homes, or families, or food, or love. Some do not even expect these things in the near future. That helps readjust your focus. That helps make the contentment sincere. Not just feigning, but really being grateful to Allah(swt) for all that you DO have.

Whatever it is that I don't have, is nothing in comparison to what I do. I have no room to complain. If there is a problem that I can't change, or am not willing to actively take part in changing it, the least I can do for my own happiness and gratitude to my Lord(who is most deserving), is be grateful. Like Dave Ramsey says when people ask him how he is doing, verily in truth he answers, " I am better than I deserve."

We sure are Dave... we sure are.
(april 05)

Is it cheating?

to revive this blog with old entries? This was published on one of my older blogs and I'm consolidating...

My friend and I were reviewing for our Seerah exam. As we flipped through Ar Raheeq Al Makhtum, we would point out important events and observations. We digressed as we started talking about how Medina is still reminscent of his(saw) presence. That when you walk down the paths, and through the fields... you realize, that he (saw) was here. SubhanAllah, she felt that... I sighed, making du'a that I could go someday.

When I used to listen to stories of the sahaba, the love and sacrifices they made for Islam, and RasulAllah(saw), it was always astonishing. They would give up their lives, their comforts, be tormented for someone who was previously a noble, trustworthy man, yes... but some of them did not even know him before the call of Islam. As I read more and more of the seerah, I began to understand.

During the Second Pledge of Aqabah, Abul Haitham At Taihan, interuppted and said "O Prophet of Allah! Between us and the Jews, there are agreements which we would then sever(by signing the pledge)! If Allah grants you power and victory, should we expect that you would not leave us, and join the ranks of your people(meaning Quraish)? "

He(saw) smiles and replies : "Nay, it would never be; your blood will be my blood. In Life and death I will be with you and you with me. I will fight whom you fight and make peace with whom you make peace."

SubhanAllah!! No wonder his companions were so loyal to him, he was loyal to them!! That type of sincerity, love, leadership, wisdom... sadly was buried with RasulAllah(saw). Even in english it softens the heart, and makes you almost cry. The arabic will blow you away. How do you miss him, although you've never met him? It is only his wisdom, and beauty that you've felt faint and faded whispers of...yet you love him more than any other man. No wonder the sahaba would lay down their lives in the blink of an eye to protect him, and to preserve Islam...

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part

You roll outta bed and down on your knees

And for the moment you can hardly breathe

Wondering was she really here?

Is she standing in my room?

No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The giving up is the hardest part

She takes you in with her crying eyes

Then all at once you have to say goodbye

Wondering could you stay my love?

Will you wake up by my side?

No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands

Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?

Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?

Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my , roses in my hands?

Would you get them if i did?

No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part

Wafaoon ki hum say tawwaqu nahi hai

Drowned in sheets of
feathery confusion
in a twilight zone confounded
by a hollow abyss
fears come alive,
reaching out to touch
lips.

Panicked
cliched goldfish gasping
for water