polar bears

and panda bears, but you know what else? koala bears!!

Wide open

I feel like I've been ripped wide open, torn between the right, what feels right and wishing desperately that I was only 6 years old again forever. It's no one's fault, I've got no one to blame...not my parents, not myself. It's just the way things are... and I have to deal with it. May Allah grant me all the patience and sabr and strength I'll ever need to reach Jannah, ameen.

Poetry

This semester, I have realized the power of words, and the power of silence. Words selected to incite, entice, passify, enamour, and even words to merely purge ourselves of all our feelings are powerful because they can cause change. They can cause us to change our perceptions, our ideas, our paradigms, and even our actions. Reading some of the poetry from the likes of Shelley, Poe, Browning and Browning, Wordsworth, Arnold, and Tennyson has left an impression on my life. " I am a part of all that I have met (or read)."
I am not a poet, so I will not attempt to move others by my poetry, but if only to release these emotions which I'm not sure how to express. Perhaps only the leniency of poetry will allow for its oddness.

they hold my heart
in between their hands
every gentle caress
and all the little pinches
to all the big punches
leave me raw

If they came to know
Thier tears,would tear to pieces
& we'd never know peace and wonder
what will become of the
heart held wide open
or the heart closed shut
between their hands

Do I deserve it?

If I am not honest and frank, am I deserving of the honesty of others?
If I am not open and trusting of others, am I justified in feeling hurt when they are not open and trusting of me?
If I take others for granted, can I be upset when others use me?
If I am not a good friend to others, can I complain when I have no friends to comfort me?
If I never sincerely love, does it negate my need for love?

Sleep, be gone!

I used to have a problem with falling asleep all the time. Then I started taking my iron, now... I can't sleep. Partially because my brain won't stop thinking. My sleep has also become lighter, and I wake up much earlier than I normally do, and go to bed much later as well. Alhamdulillah, it gives me a chance to catch up on my work, and earn some hasanah. Now if only I could stop with all the thinking... =P

Real update to come after finals...

After 585.00 cups of Hot Cocoa, you'd be pushing up daisies.

It would take 273.00 cups of Brewed Tea to put you down.

After 240.88 cans of Coca-Cola Classic, you'd be pushing up daisies.





Slowly puts down cup # 272 of chai....=S

Di-am oday

**blows nose**

This whole week, I've woken up to a mixture of surprise and grumbling. For instance, I woke up tuesday wondering why there was a large bear beating up my brain, and why he was so bright. I tried to ignore him, and roll over...go back to sleep, but he was just hammering away. As I finally got out of bed, I realized the bear had escaped leaving me with a migraine and incredible sensitivity to light. Mean, mean bear...I will double check my windows from now on, so bears don't sneak in.

and now, my nose is running like a tap, but it sounds like its stuffed up. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal fee kulli zamaan wa makaan.

I finally signed up for my classes for next semester... i have about 30 hours...=/

yes, it will kill me. =P

I also have the pleasure of taking bus.cal.1...woo hoo!! I made my brother promise to help me, inshaAllah we'll see how that goes.

My little brother made me chai last night, and i fell asleep before i got to drink it... now i have stale chai ... i might warm it up and have some. I don't know how/why I woke up at 1 am... but I did, and I can't go back to sleep. Hence the blogging update... the poor update =P.

**blows nose**
take care that you don't catch a cold or get sick. May Allah protect you, ameen.
ma'salam