Wide open

I feel like I've been ripped wide open, torn between the right, what feels right and wishing desperately that I was only 6 years old again forever. It's no one's fault, I've got no one to blame...not my parents, not myself. It's just the way things are... and I have to deal with it. May Allah grant me all the patience and sabr and strength I'll ever need to reach Jannah, ameen.