After today, I really feel like I have failed at life. However, instead of pointing out how I have failed, I will in a concise bulleted list tell about the magnanimous lessons I have learned and how they will impact my life forever.

• always carry poi as mandated by your state and other surrounding states, especially when you are traveling...especially when you are traveling.
• never reach for baklava while driving
• always keep your brakes pressed down hard at a red light
• always stop at least 2-3 feet away from the car in front of you, as to avoid any domino effect bumping
• always note the name, license plate, race, age, gender, car make/model/color/condition of all people involved should they drive away and leave you to take the blame.
• keep fresh brownies handy especially when traveling so as to comfort you in any unforeseen situation.
• carefully note your court date
• carefully in big letters write your court date in a planner
• consult your planner and said court date before making other plans
• when attempting to reschedule, do not leave the job to a secretary...call, call, call, call until the job is done.
• when you cannot clone yourself or make it to the appointment, do not pass go, do not collect $200, go straight to jail and lose a turn.