The last post on Hajj was a simplistic emotional outburst attempting to be simmered down, and it didn't do any justice to the awesomeness of Hajj. I could go into the obligations of hajj, the commandments of hajj, the exceptions, the rewards, but really I want to talk about this unexplainable deep almost painful desire to go and realizing not only am I unprepared...I have yet to be invited.

The official Hajj season is over, and muslims from all over the world are returning to their homes bringing back tasbihs, hijabs, and little pieces of Mecca and Medinah back with them. They're also bringing back a piece of the ummah with them. Not only because they have been around others of the ummah and gained from them, but because after Hajj...they've seen the ummah...they've been a part of that magnificent inertia like movement of millions of worshippers circling around the Ka'bah; they have bowed and prostrated as a whole to The One, the only One. They bring back the part of the ummah that is themselves, for they have finally realized what they are a part of.

Hajj changes people. People who didn't really care much for their cultural, "amee-makes-me-pray," "yea its this thing we do," religion, into people who go home and care...they go home and its no longer this thing they brush aside, and hope no one asks them about it. It becomes a part of their identity...they've realized they are not alone. Then they don't worry about answering questions, sideways glances about their hijab/beard. I think Hajj makes people better. It works on your soul. My soul needs to be worked on.

I realize I am romanticizing alot about Hajj, and what I'm thinking might be wrong(it's probably not). I haven't been yet...but inshaAllah I will go soon. I do see the people around me who have gone and how they have changed. It gives me hope, that I can change...do not disenchant me.